Stories from Crew

Water we Drink

So one day during freshman year, on one of the first days of crew on the water, me and my friends were standing at the bottom of the hill right where the water meets the land doing what kids do. Picture related:

While we were down there, someone had the brilliant idea of throwing rocks into the water. We were having fun skipping the rocks and it was a good time for one and all. Little did we know that the park authority was looming up behind us ready to pounce. She took her time, found the window, and hit it perfectly. As I was throwing a rock into the water, she grabbed my hand, simultaneously yelling at me to "STOP THROWING ROCKS!" Jesus Christ, alright. Don't need to go all Billy Mays on me with the yelling.

She explained to us that this is the water we drink from and that I shouldn't pollute it with things like ROCKS. You know. The timing could not have been better, for it was at this precise moment that I looked to my side and on the dock was the funniest sight at the time. There were people literally SHOVELING goose shit into the water. They had rakes, shovels, and probably even small children that they were dragging across the dock and letting the goose crap splash into the water below.

The very same water we drink.

Numbskulls

It was the first day of crew practice at the school and we just met our nice new coach, Mr. Bennett. He was kind, gentle, and caring. But, at the same time, he was the most terrifyingly authoritarian man I had ever seen in my entire pathetic existence. He took charge of the team with an iron fist, leaving the weak behind and punishing those that slacked in the least. He was great, exactly what people expect in a coach. He probably did this on his spare time:

Anyways, we loved him and we didn't want to cross him. We were on our way down the hallway towards the door to the outdoors and we were walking by some benches. They looked to be about five feet long. This was when my friend decided that the best choice right now was to run as fast as he could, and in all his genius, he would LEAP over one of the benches, clearing it perfectly and landing on the other side. This was the plan. It was not the greatest, but he stuck with it. He jumped and almost cleared it, but as luck would have it, his back foot stuck on the edge of the bench and he landed flat on his face.

This turned out to be a GREAT first impression on our new coach. He said some of the greatest words of wisdom I have ever heard in my entire life. "I don't like numbskulls. That was a numbskull move. You are a numbskull." He left it at that and it made an impression on the entire team.

Bench - 1. Numbskulls - 0. Coach Bennett - ∞.